A Holiday Poem from me and The Glump: 2014
Twas the morning before Christmas
And I was able to tell
The the Glump was awake
And I was now in Thomas Hell
With Korra so little
And Dom off at work
I could hide all the trains
But that would make me a jerk
When out of his room
There came a loud noise
It seems a derailment
Had stopped all the toys.
I threw down my coffee
And set aside little Nugg
I then found the Glump
Sobbing into his rug
"What happened?" He sobbed
Looking mildly in pain
"How turn on?" He demanded
Then began listing their names
"Turn on Thomas" he said
"Turn on Caitlin" he cheesed
So I set them upright
The Glump seemed most pleased.
I returned to the Nugget
And I found my cold drink
But from the Glump's room
I heard "where is dink dink?!"
"Son of a bitch"
I said as I stood
and abandoned my coffee
Most likely for good.
I went to his room
The baby nugget in hand
Thomas was on fire
The floor covered in sand
"What the hell?"
I exclaimed with a start
Rex's eyes glowed red
He was perfecting his art
His bed was now broken
Into at least 200 parts
And the water in the fish tank
Smelled of old farts
I tried to make sense
Of the things I could see
But the toys looked scared
And were trying to flee.
"Abandon all hope"
Flashed the sign in my mind
You're dealing with a toddler
And they are not kind.
He spoke not a word
Just continued his fit
"I should take you to grandma
And let her deal with this shit"
But, alas, I'm his father
And I can fix it, right?
I may not be Dom
But I can do alright
I was a soldier
And I've been in the suck
But this is a toddler
And I'm shit out of luck
Cartoons and movies
All failed to make cheerful
This little man of mine
Who was making ME fearful
I finally found something
Upon a kitchen shelf
A cookie for Glump
Not made by some elf
It was crafted by Dom
She made it last night
Left to appease the Glump
And help daddy win the fight
When I gave him the cookie
The fires started to ease
He smiled at daddy
"Two cookies please?"
Crap....
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